Hey... I know, I know... I've been MIA lately, eh? Actually, in case anyone has been wondering where I disappeared to - I've been trying NOT to deal with reality in any way at all.
I've been reading fan fiction and that's about it - once in a while an email, too. I've basically been ignoring anything "real" because I cannot deal with reality anymore. I don't really care about very much right now, including that the vision in my left eye was recently confirmed to be pretty much leaving me forever. Bye bye left eye! I have known it was going for years and haven't really even told anyone IRL about that one and don't even think I've mentioned it on the vision forum I'm on... and have not been really telling anyone much of anything else lately, either. This is where I lay out most of my thoughts and I haven't even been on here!
So, instead, I have been just floating around in a sea of make-believe instead, dealing with the things in the real world only as I absolutely HAVE to. Of course there is much in the way of day-to-day stuff with the kids and family that are on that "HAVE TO" list... but anything beyond that I'm ignoring.
Any time I start thinking about anything serious, I suddenly get into this deep depression about how disgusting and old I am, so I have retreated into another world instead. Real life sucks! I guess my birthday coming up hasn't helped any of this either. When DH started getting his bd cards in the mail yesterday (his is 3 days before mine), I decided I'm throwing out all my cards when they come in - and I am NOT going to answer the phone on Sunday at all. So there! If I ignore my birthday, that means it didn't happen, right?????
It probably is not very good for me, or for anyone else to be honest, but that is the way it is for me right now.
Oh yeah, I should probably let you know that the family weekend thing went pretty well, surprisingly. I was only completely humiliated twice. Amazing!!! Nobody came here, but I did manage to get the house in order and have even managed to keep it almost as nice as it was that weekend. Wow!
Hope you, my friends, are doing well.
Theme Thursday = Telephone
3 hours ago
