Babbling about Stuff (aka "I have no idea what to title this one" LOL)

I'm not sure if my post a few days ago on the subject of one of my flashback situations actually did more damage than good. I was hoping it would do some good... but it has brought the subject to mind even without flashbacks at this point, again and again. Is it a good thing to think about something like that without the vivid 're-living' state of a flashback? I don't know the answer to that question... and I have not been to the psych to ask.

I guess I should email the psych with that question since she has not emailed me about an appt this week yet. If she wanted to see me today, it is too late now to say yes. (DH has to go into work early on those days and he is still sleeping, lol, plus we made plans to go to my mom's later). I missed an appt 2 weeks ago, then the only day last week she could see me I had the crown done and I knew I'd be in too bad shape to be driving 30 minutes to go see her (so late, too - I am always her last appt and don't get home till after 10pm - knowing the TMJ would trigger a migraine and the anxiety of going to the dentist exhausting me = bad combo for driving - probably worse than if I'd been drunk!) I don't know if she'll email me later in the week telling me to come in on Friday.

I wonder if she is reading my blog? She is the only person IRL that I have given my blog URL to. I have been having printer problems for months now (long story why this is not fixed) and do not usually print out something for her anymore like I used to, so I gave her my blog to keep tabs on me... but I don't think she really has time to get online and read it. I have a feeling if she had read the post I referred to above, she would have called me immediately, lol. I don't think I ever told her about that one, even though I've been seeing her for what - 3 years? I think it has been that long, anyway.

Anyway, yes we are going to my mom's this afternoon. I will get to see the result of all the work that was done the other day... an empty garage and basement. I am being very careful to call it a "garage" now and not "the office", which is what it was always referred to as I grew up.

I hope seeing it empty doesn't trigger a panic attack. And you know that just thinking it might trigger a panic attack is making a panic attack more likely, right?! Geesh!


We will eat dinner then work for an hour or so (organizing the stuff that came out of the garage), then the kids will enjoy going in the pool, I am sure. And hopefully I will NOT have a panic attack while driving home.

OK - I'm going to be more positive...

I WILL NOT HAVE A PANIC ATTACK TODAY!!!

So there. :P

I even put it in my favorite color. Maybe it will 'stick' in my brain better that way?