MIL moving today

Hello! My mother in law is moving today. Since the kids have been sick often, and I had other things going on (or she did) I never had time to help her. I'm feeling pretty guilty about not helping her pack, and she is acting pretty angry at me... but she doesn't seem to understand (and neither does the "guilt" part of my brain): my mother moved during the summer when the kids were not being exposed to all sorts of viruses and bacteria, and THAT is why I was able to help her. They were not sick all the time like they are during the school year.

My DH did go help her the past few weekends, but I was not able to.

One reason for that is that, other than when the kids or I were sick, was that I have all of my son's new foods here and would need to pack everything up and bring it all with me not knowing what he would eat. I mean, I could have taken a bunch of bananas with me, sure, but I keep trying to get him to eat something more substantial. He is NOT getting the nutrients he needs, that's for sure, though things are recently getting better. And I'd have to pack up food for the girls, too, since they cannot eat restaurant food either and she was intending on getting take-out for the adults.

Anyway, today is moving day and though my son has a very nasty cold, I sent him in to school anyway. My mom went on his school trip with him today and will pick the kids up from school. I am waiting here, at home, for a phone call for when the movers leave her house for the condo (which is only 10 minutes away from here). They are also moving some of her furniture to my house. DH is at her house now, and all I can do is wait for the call... wait and worry about how I did not help like I feel I should have... that I am not helping today like I feel I should.

But... DH didn't help my mom much when she moved, either. Is this very different? He helped his mom and I will do all I need to today... I helped my mom and he did what he could a couple of days (but then again, my mom had a LOT more to deal with, having a business in her house for 30 years!).

So, no, it really is not that different than the situation with my mom, is it? I should not be feeling so guilty.

But I am.

What makes me feel even worse is that some members of the Houston family (her other daughter in law and the grandkids - who are older than my kids) are coming up at the end of the week to help her unpack!

This makes me feel even more guilty. They are coming all the way across the country because they know MIL cannot count on me to help. THAT is how it makes me feel anyway.

I am hoping to be able to get over to the new condo at least a couple of days this week, even if only for an hour or two each day, to help her unpack. Of course... now that my son is sick (and this is only the first day he will probably get sicker from here) this might not happen and OF COURSE I'm going to feel even more guilty than all the above.

And my mom is probably catching my son's virus as I type! And that will make me feel even worse!

AND my kids never got over to MIL's old house to say "goodbye" to it. They haven't been there in months.

AND my kids were hysterical about the furniture change that is going to take place today. No changes allowed, you know!!! But they completely destroyed the couch we have had since before they were born... we need a new one, this one is literally falling apart... and there is a recliner that MIL had that matches the couch so we are taking that too. So, we are getting those today.

I hate myself sometimes. I hate how my brain feels the need to torture myself. I do a really, really good job of torturing myself, believe me!

Why can't I be like other people and not care about anyone but myself? I want to be apathetic... or do I??? I don't really know.